My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
