There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize