I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
