ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
