Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
