I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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