I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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