DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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