I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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