Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
