All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
