Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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