Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
