Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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