The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
