I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The air was thick with penises
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
BRING THE BAGELS
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
