Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
