Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
