youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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