Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
