your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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