I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
im calling her cock vulture from now on
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
