U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
