No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
