he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize