So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I did not marry a roomba.
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