my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
