everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
