i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
