Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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