just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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