so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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