Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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