Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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