Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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