I think I am morally bankrupt
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
