hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
