it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
