All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
