i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
