you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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