I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i think my cat just said my name.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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