he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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