Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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