I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
