and you said cock pushups were impossible
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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