Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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