i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
