they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
