So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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