There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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