i just had sex bonerless
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i now understand why vodka
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
